the key to a successful marriage proposal
and here’s exactly how to do it... |
Dear Sister, What if I were to tell you the key to attracting marriage proposals and turning the proposal
I discovered something shocking...
When I was conducting interviews with single Muslim sisters I asked “Describe yourself in a few sentences so I could in turn describe you to a brother who I think may be a potential suitor.” I haven't heard you describe yourself for marriage or read your marriage profile to make a judgment. However, almost EVERY sister told me what she does NOT want in a After listening to and reading the descriptions of dozens of sisters
it comes down to this...
Many Sisters have no idea
Now when Mr. Right hears your description for the first time, he is looking for certain words, phrases, and looking for mannerisms to be displayed by you that would allow him to consider you as a wife not just Sh. Yaser Birjas, a Practimate faculty member with over a decade's worth of experience working with Muslims in relation to marriage, was saying a while ago a father came to him with his daughter's marriage resume asking him to help with finding his daughter a potential husband. So after Sh. Yaser took a look at the marriage resume he told the father: "I thought you wanted me to look for a potential husband for your daughter, not a job!" What she described in all those pages could be summarized in two letters: MD. Now here's another example... What happens when the first thing you say about yourself, or your friend says about you is: "She is 26 years old, and has a degree in chemistry, and she is currently in grad school." Or, "…is working in a lab called XYZ." From the brother's perspective, he hears a description that says little (or nothing) about what he is looking for in a wife, aside from |
I realised that the way I've been describing myself and the way I answer and pose questions to potentials has not been in the best way. Ive only been thinking about myself and what I want. It did not occur to me to think about what he would want and if I even show that I have it. I describe things in a way that I think sounds impressive to me, but obviously being a woman its not neccesaarily going to be the same things a brother would see as impressive. You really hit the nail on the head when you said that some of us end up presenting ourselves as good muslimahs in the deen, but dont present ourselves as potential 'good wives'. We leave that bit out thinking its enough that we are practicing muslimahs. I wish I knew this before! Still at least I know now alhamdulillaah…" Sister, United Kingdom |
Muslim Men dont feel a sense of urgency
The first impression you leave off is almost always a LASTING one. Sad but true... for a Muslim man he sees the disproportionate ratio of women to men and feels he has ALL the time in the world to choose the right woman for him.
What that means for YOU is that unless Mr. Right hears a description of you that WOWS him from whomever is representing you or at the time of the proposal he may NOT feel that attraction for you even if you are a "good sister". Again as the statistics show, there are a lot of "good sisters" that have NOT been successful in getting married and are entering their 30s... Things get REALLY complicated then because you enter the whole sensitive issue of becoming "expired" on the marriage market and for a man with MANY options he'll always aim at the "younger crowd".
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Here is the Bottom Line... To get married to Mr. Right you MUST learn how to speak about yourself in a way that allows you to be confident, beautiful in your modesty, and will connect with the words and thoughts in the mind of your Mr. Right. I've put together the Speak His Language to help you think about the words, phrases, feelings, and qualities that you would choose to describe yourself for Mr. Right.
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I am writing this to you, to inform you that I am married Alhamdulillah [smile]. It was few days back that I mentioned to you that I was having a situation. I took your Speak his language program and have attended all your webinars. They all were so helpful but moreover the personal email you had sent me encouraging me, meant a lot." Sister, United States |
I am writing this to you, to inform you that I am married Alhamdulillah [smile]. It was few days back that I mentioned to you that I was having a situation. I took your Speak his language program and have attended all your webinars. They all were so helpful but moreover the personal email you had sent me encouraging me, meant a lot." Sister, United Kingdom |
Here’s what others HAVE TO SAY about Speak His language
You bring out simple things that I would neglect completely. The Aha moment I had is when you spoke about confidence and the difference between being a bold opinionated sister… It really opened my eyes." Sister FM |
"I thought I was confident when presenting myself and after listening to the video, I had to rethink on this as "Message conveyed is not always message received." Sister Megan, you bring up some really interesting points on how women over analyze themselves, how confidence cannot be faked etc and how we hold ourselves back. May Allah SWT reward you for all your good work." Sister U |
“I liked the exercise. It helped me visually organize my answers and make sense of them. Very often we tell people mundane things about ourselves rather than the things a mother looking for son would want to hear.” Sister G |
"I learned from this video that I must look into to myself and really see what is there in order to see what I need in a spouse and how to go about looking for it. I know more what I want and I have learned a better way to present myself that will get me closer to that goal." Sister B |
"Masha'ALLAH!!! Excellent sister, you have done a great job. This is exactly that direction girls want before their marriage. You know most girls used to say "oh! I didn't have good advisor and now I'm here facing all of this problems etc etc" I never write and think anything about myself in such detail, but I have done Alhumdhulillah!!! Thank you so much for advising us and sharing this programme which will help us Insha'Allah." Sister T |
“SubhanAllah! This video really got me thinking and actually writing stuff down. I though that I knew what I wanted, but when you actually start writing, reality strikes. When I thought about Marriage, I actually thought of what I want and don't want in a husband or in the marriage . But Alhumdulillah, I learnt that knowing yourself and being confident in yourself are the keys to starting and keeping a successful marriage. JazaakiAllah Khair for sharing such an amazing mini-program.’ Sister A.P. |
“This was a great video; this is exactly what I was looking for. After I have seen many bad experiences of marriage which drives me away from this topic. Jazakallahu khair for sharing your knowledge. Sister S |
“Two things I thought were really great about your video: The first was your definitions of what confidence was & what confidence was NOT. Both times, I stopped the video and had to write it down & think about it because I think THAT just really shattered my perception of what confidence looks like. SubhanaAllah. The second was about including your potential husband in the paragraph when you describe yourself. That makes soo much sense! Sister S |
“MashaAllah, this simple activity helped me realize how the words we choose to describe ourselves really has a BIG impression on the brother. If you use the right words, you will attract the best brothers and if you don't use the right words, you will be settling for less than the best!” Sister A |
This was a really good workshop. I learned sooo much. In sha Allah, I'm going to try really hard to implement this" Sister K |