Comments for Find Your Mr. Right Blog | Practimate

Comment on Q&A Video 2: What Qualities Your Mr. Right Sees In You by G

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 20:02:15 +0000

Mashallah sister Megan, another great program. Just was wondering whether you can do something about gaining self-confidence, (being careful of not having too much due to it becoming arrogance). I don’t know about many sisters out there but there is a worry that you may not be a good enough wife because people (relatives) may have talked about you behind your back and have put you down saying that they don’t think that you would make a good wife so it maybe a reason that could have knocked your self-confidence. I dont know if many sisters experience this or not nut just thought to mention it!

JazakAllah sister!!

Comment on Win 1 of 3 FULL Scholarships To “Find Your Mr. Right” 8 Week Online Seminar by Adrianna Spinoza

Adrianna Spinoza — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 04:08:11 +0000

Very good post. Thanks for sharing.

Comment on The Marriage Of Your Dreams by Sister

Sister — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 01:29:43 +0000

What do you dream about the most?

I dream of marrying a man whom I feel was truly created for me. I dream that we will both have unconditional love and respect for each other.

What are some of your wants and aspirations?

I want a husband who cares for me and does things for me because he WANTS to, not because he feels like he has to. I want him to be completely truthful with me. When I get married insha’Allah I plan to prefer my husband over myself, so it would be so great to have a husband who prefers me over himself. I want us together to sacrifice for each other. I want someone who understands me, even if I can’t exactly explain myself…he just knows what I mean. I want my husband to be okay with my weaknesses and try to help me with them while not making me feel bad for having them. I want my husband to be my BEST friend whom I can count on and be able to tell him anything I want and vice versa. I want my husband to have the same goals as me so that we can help each other out in achieving our goals and pleasing Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. I want my husband to be the type of person who tries to never hurt my feelings and talks to me in a calm, kind, loving, and intellectual manner, rather than being rough with me. Basically, when I imagine the “Perfect Marriage” that I would love to have I envision those cute stories about the Prophet sallAllahu ‘alayhi wassallam and ‘Aisha. Every time i hear them, it literally brings tears to my eyes because that’s exactly what I want and its the most perfect life you could ever imagine. When I hear the stories it makes me tear also because it feels like that could never happen to me (its like an unrealistic goal).

What do you stay up at night dreaming about?

I think I covered it all in the previous question

Comment on From Future Wife To Future Mother by Garzala

Garzala — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 15:20:31 +0000

Assalamu alaikum sister Megan

I totally agree with u n i understand why any man would want this!! I’m a 21 year old n im not married. I dont class any of this as backward talk because a muslim womans role has always been to make a house into a home. She is the first school for her child and she is a companion to her husband. A hadith came to mind when I listened to this and I just wanted to share it:

Ibn ‘Umar reported that the Prophet, sallalahu alaihi wa’alihi wasallam, “All of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of the people of his house and he is responsible. A woman is the shepherd of the house of her husband and she is responsible. Each of you is a shepherd and each is responsible for his flock.”

therefore we can understand the responsibility Allah (SWT) has given each of us towards our children and our husband.

Comment on YOUR biggest FEAR by inside_muslimah

inside_muslimah — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 21:43:45 +0000

I worry that he will cheat on me

Comment on YOUR biggest FEAR by inside_muslimah

inside_muslimah — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 21:41:29 +0000

That my husband will no longer love me after a time and will take me for granted and not consider me or my needs as important.

Comment on Are You Afraid To Trust Men? by inside_muslimah

inside_muslimah — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 21:34:56 +0000

Mashallah the blog struck a big chords with me. I think we do need to start with ourselves first. In the case of ending up in a negative relationship, we need to respect ourselves enough to stand up against it and ensure that we dont let it happen again. I am first and foremost afraid that I will not be strong enough to remove myself from such a situation. We need to have faith in Allah that He will take care of us and our future. And the akhira is the final reward inshallah.

Comment on Ask Me Your Top Questions About “Find Your Mr. Right” 8 Week Online Seminar by Idil

Idil — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 22:02:05 +0000

Asalamu calykum it is me again, whats with the fuss about mr right, one may actually wonder whether he exists… are we not living in an unrealistic world , if we think that mr right exist and will knock on our doors,, thats just a picture out of bollywood movie for me.. we a muslima`s should know better…

Comment on Ask Me Your Top Questions About “Find Your Mr. Right” 8 Week Online Seminar by Idil

Idil — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:58:38 +0000

Asalamu calykum sis, just wanted to say that what you are doing is great and thanks for taking the time to do it, may ALLAH reward you for it.

Comment on Are You Afraid To Trust Men? by Megan Wyatt

Megan Wyatt — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 04:53:09 +0000

Bismillah

I just wanted to say something about this comment made above:

“but some husband threaten to take children etc. some men turn their children against the mother so it creates a worse situation for the children subhalanalah.”

I would say that something like that happens BECAUSE a wife, before she was a mother, didn’t stop things from the beginning – and THEN a few kids later, she tries to leave, and the evil blackmailing begins.

This is why it is CRUCIAL to take care of things from the beginning. Children never ever deserve to be in an unhealthy environment.

And again, if a man wasn’t abusive to the wife, but only to the kids, then the same thing applies. First time is the last time.

Comment on Are You Afraid To Trust Men? by K

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 23:22:56 +0000

salam
I agree with Megan that we are the only ones who can decide who hurts us.
what if a sister ends up in a abusive marriage. or controling marriage?
so yes we do have an option to say no to abuse and control but some husband threaten to take children etc. some men turn their children against the mother so it creates a worse situation for the children subhalanalah.
some situations can be very tricky subhanlaah.
however i still believe that Allah wont test us with more than we can bear so its important to make dua and ask Allah to protect us from harm ameen

on another note i think its important that we do grow as women people and learn new things. its our islamic duty to continue to improve on our character and increase our faith…however the same should apply to the men. both men and women are garments for one another and marriage is a matter of give and take i believe

may Allah reward sister Megan for her wonderful insights. its very inspiring mashalah

It would be intersting to have some answers to some of the comments that sisters have made.

may Allah reward sister Megan and her team ameen

Comment on Win 1 of 3 FULL Scholarships To “Find Your Mr. Right” 8 Week Online Seminar by saira naheed

saira naheed — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 04:29:13 +0000

1. What’s your biggest obstacle or challenge to getting married right now?
i want to get marry with true practisng muslim.so i will be able to do lots of work for our religion with my husband,and i want to live my life according to islam:)so only true and practisng muslim can be a good husband.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by m

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 14:54:53 +0000

1. I haven’t really begun actively looking. I joined a few online matrimonial sites in 2006.

2. I have received 3 proposals, 1 through a cousin and 2 through websites none of which panned out.

3. 2-3 years

Comment on Are You Afraid To Trust Men? by Raz

Raz — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 03:20:51 +0000

I can identify with all that is said here and indeed in many other of Sister Megan’s emails/posts. So firstly, a heartfelt thank you for the service you are offering. What prevents me from getting sold on it however is that I don’t understand why yet again its the women who are doing the adjusting/growing/changing when the men who should be doing just the same…are not doing much at all. What is really wrong with standing up to being a woman who values oneself and will not brook lesser treatment, then putting one’s trust in Allah and waiting. Why must we always project ourselves as this or that when a little more maturity and insight can be instilled in a man to try to see a little beyond what is on the surface when in comes to proposals. Why not start with the men? Many times I wanted to join your course but I feel it will be yet another saga of coping and adjusting and after many such, I really do want to just stand up for myself and say to the men…grow up!
[just to give context, I'm a 30 year old PhD candidate working with a wide working experience and very independant]

Thanks!

Comment on Are You Afraid To Trust Men? by J.

J. — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 03:05:04 +0000

^ I agree with z. I’m way more open-minded than most guys who’ve proposed would most probably think. I have two older brothers who although I have my differences with, I utterly respect and despite their human flaws I believe would make good husbands. It is for that reason, that I give people a chance, but when it comes down to it, they all give off the air of manipulation and holding tight to their cultural ideas which demean women. I’m not a girl who will be led to believe that I need to change completely for a man, because I need to be patient, sweet, and obedient. And we live in a world with two extremes: girls who would rather be single than hurt and girls who get married and get emotionally, physically, and mentally hurt.

With that said, let us remember our sister Aasiya Hassan who was murdered by her husband last year. May Allah protect our sisters from such evil men. Ameen.

Comment on Ask Me Your Top Questions About “Find Your Mr. Right” 8 Week Online Seminar by Sammy

Sammy — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 18:57:28 +0000

Assalamualaikum,

I am in some major dilemma and need some help. A brother has proposed and my family and I are in the deciding process. The brother is a very nice person, nice, kind hearted, smart, well educated, knows what he wants in life, striving to be a good Muslim, has all qualities a husband should have according to me, but the only problem is that he is really short due to some genetic problem (which is apprently genetic because one of his uncles is also as short, and by short i mean not taller than 5 feet 2 inches). My parents agree that he is a very nice person at heart. But, because they have “researched” and talked to some family about the issue, they think that this genetic effect will be transferred to our fiture generations. So my dilemma is that is it fair to reject someone on the sole basis of something that is from Allah (ofcourse, he is not short by choice). I have always respected my parents’ opinion above mine, but now we seem to be having differing views. How do I go about putting my heart at ease? Please let me know. JazaAllah

Comment on Are You Afraid To Trust Men? by z

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 05:16:26 +0000

i work w a lot of brothers in the community and have ended up having to work with many who are controlling and manipulative…so its not just “me” and “my fear” that is the problem, its also true that this is a general problem with some muslim brothers. there should be more programs to educate them on relationships and treatment of women

Comment on Are You Afraid To Trust Men? by tayibah

tayibah — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 22:51:08 +0000

I do feel that, if I were to marry someone who turned out to be abusive, controlling, etc, that it would be MY responsibility to deal with it appropriately. I am not so much afraid that I would be “trapped” or not be able to “escape” a bad marriage. My fear is of the hurt, the emotional pain of having let myself love someone, and become intimate with someone who ends up not deserving my trust, my love, my closeness…. A stranger can hurt me physically or insult me and it won’t be as hurtful as if a husband, friend or family member does so. To have the possibility that a once happy union crumbles and I am left alone and wounded, is scary.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by amatullah

amatullah — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 17:35:45 +0000

1-haven’t been actively looking
2-received about 5-6 proposals (total)
3-probably within or by 2 years insha’Allah

Comment on Are You Afraid To Trust Men? by Uma

Uma — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 12:23:38 +0000

as salamu ‘alai kum warahmatulLaahi wabarakatuh

Masha Allaah very insightful actually it pulled together (beautifully) conclusions that I have observed with in myself. Great job sis may Allaah increase us and you in goodness and make us amongst the thankful!

Comment on Are You Afraid To Trust Men? by StuckInTheSystem

StuckInTheSystem — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 08:27:31 +0000

Mashallah! as always brilliant, straight to the point vid. I know that I need to work on myself before I remove all the obstacles to marriage out of the way. Yes you are absolutely right, the root of fear is from within the self. But now Alhamdulilah I think I am past the stage of fearing men, I know now that I can call the shots and not allow hurt to come my way (again).

Thank you sis, May Allah reward you for your efforts.

Much Love.

Comment on Are You Afraid To Trust Men? by kaltun

kaltun — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 07:50:52 +0000

Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatulahi Wa Barakatuh

mashaALlah well done. I have been in sad situation but alhamdulillah that was in the past.
JAzakallah khair.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by 7777

7777 — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 07:42:33 +0000

searching for 5yrs
1 proposal
inshaAllah this year

Comment on Are You Afraid To Trust Men? by Little Bird

Little Bird — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 03:11:50 +0000

Asslam Alaikum, refreshed the page and saw the video. Meagan, do you mind doing a post one day about being afraid of financial failure in marriage? I think this is my biggest fear. Most brothers surrounding me are really struggling financially and I am terrified of going into a marriage and litteraly worrying about where the money for diapers, baby formula and bread will come from. This is especially so because I am from a very afluent family (non muslim). We are expected to marry well and being poor is looked at as failure. I know this is not Islamic at all but I can’t help it. Especialy because I know what they will say: Oh look what Islam has brought to her: extreemism, stupidity and poverty.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by hamda

hamda — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 02:52:02 +0000

1. Since I have academic expectations to fulfill I can’t even think about getting married or even hint that I want to. I’m 22 by the way and personally am open to anything because I feel this is more important than getting a degree. Khayr, InshAllah.

2. Two.

3. I can easily see that I’d be around 30 when I’d be getting married. Allahu ‘Alam. But 95% of my friends/acquaintances (my age or younger) are either engaged or married.

Comment on Q&A Video 1: Should You “Falsely Market” Yourself For Marriage? by reality

reality — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 01:39:35 +0000

Megan, that was a fantastic answer that more muslimahs NEED to hear (I know many don’t want to, or don’t realize what a grave mistake they are making).

I am only 20, but i understand my role as a wife and as a future MOTHER Insha Allah. A mother is given the highest form of respect in Islam. No one else but we can fulfill this important role. Its so special SubhanAllah! Allah SWT has given a mother preference over others…how could you just throw this chance away? How could you not avail this opportunity, this blessing that is given to you as a female to fulfill a role that YOU and ONLY YOU can do!

I for one cannot wait to get married and have kids and teach them about Islam…and teach them the values I feel are important that this society disregards. If I want them to respect me, to be close to me, to trust me and to share the same values and learn from me, I would have to be there for them at their early vulnerable stage when they are picking up things the most quickly. Only then will they gain the level of respect that mothers in the West do not get.

I cannot risk handing my kids over to a daycare and basically bringing them up for me. Its just as bad as letting a TV bring up my child.

The brothers have a RIGHT to be concerned, because if the mother isn’t at home to teach them properly, both parents will be accountable to Allah SWT for not teaching them enough to make them proper Muslims, to value their body, their mind, their soul. To be in good company, to ask Allah, to pray, fast, earn halal income, and be responsible.

JazakAllah Khair and keep up the good work! may Allah SWT reward you tremendously!

Comment on Win 1 of 3 FULL Scholarships To “Find Your Mr. Right” 8 Week Online Seminar by mish

mish — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 21:10:52 +0000

assalamu alaykum

1. What’s your biggest obstacle or challenge to getting married right now?

i don’t know where to look. i dont have contacts. no seriously, dont think i am being overdramatic because i’m really not. i was not always a practicing muslim so most of the people i know dont meet my criteria or they don’t know people who meet my criteria. and having no friends who can help me is tough. i have friends practicing but themselves are looking to get married and they are in the same position as me. so they don’t really know anyone. that’s my biggest obstacle: lack of network. i volunteer for the MSA here. but well, im still single. anyways, that was not why i joined it.
2. What have you done so far to overcome that obstacle or challenge?

3. How do you think I can help you the most?
you can really help me to put up contacts, a network, coach me on how to build an islamic network cause i have no idea.

4. What were your “Aha!” moments during the last two webinars and in “Speak His Language” video? Based on the information presented there, what will you do right now and how are you going to apply that to your life?

i don’t want to matrimonial sites. i don’t trust them enough. and my family nor friends can’t help me. because well it is ocmplicated. but im trying to volunteer in the community and so on, meet up with the aunties at the masjid, on occasions and son on

Comment on Introduction To “Finding Your Other Half” DVD Program by Megan

Megan — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 19:00:12 +0000

Bismillah

For those of you who asked, yes the program is still beneficial for those of you without a mahram.

This along with the “Find Your Mr. Right” program is especially important for sisters on their own.

As a convert myself, I totally understand the challenges of not having someone that can help in this role, and it does propose a different set of challenges.

(And you are right, after being used to handling everything else on my own, from job interviews, projects, organizations, school, etc – it does feel natural to just do things alone in this area too..)

However, this DVD program is an ENTIRE system regarding the initial marriage process, and even if you don’t have a family member as a mahram (and an imam too busy to really help.)

Am I will be the first to tell you that the moment you think there is someone you are interested in, you NEED to FIND someone who can act as a third party between the two of you.

Please do sign up for the seminar, and the DVD comes with that.

If you have nay further questions, email me at sisters@practimate.com

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Patience

Patience — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 07:53:35 +0000

1. How long have you been actively searching to find your Mr. Right? (be specific)

Last four years since I ended my studies.

2. How many proposals did you get since then? (be specific)

Many (30+) since my undergraduate, some have actually come to my house but most I couldn’t accept as I know either it doesn’t match my criteria or that of my family, like his job, education etc.. I kept wondering how come nobody could fit in the criteria.

3. Looking at other sisters that you know who got married around you, how many more months or years do you think it will be before you get married? Use an average from all the sisters who got married around you. (Yes, only Allah knows the future. I just want to understand what your REALISTIC expectation is).
Maybe one year

Comment on Ask Me Your Top Questions About “Find Your Mr. Right” 8 Week Online Seminar by Haajra

Haajra — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 18:15:00 +0000

Assalamualaykum!

firstly
congratulations! the job u r doing is something we really need! and u have been Mashallah blessed with the courage and wisdom frm Allah to help us out..

i want 2 know when do these classes start and what will be the timings be..and what dates..

jazakallah!

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Dots

Dots — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 14:48:26 +0000

1. 1 year
2. 1
3. 1 year

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by ummzaynah

ummzaynah — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 06:04:01 +0000

i have ben divorced for almost 6 years. I have been actively looking for about 3 1/2- 4 years. I have been engaged once since my divorce and almost got engaged a second time 2 years ago. I honestly don’t know when or if “MR. Right” will ever. I have attended a couple of weddings since my divorce. Most recently my brother’s. I have just about given up hope that i will ever find anyone. It’s literally like looking for a needle in a haystack. There are no decent, good, practicing brothers.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by rayhana

rayhana — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 19:22:16 +0000

looking actively ( although its not acceptable culture wise and by family) since I was 25 am 30 now.

- around 8-9 and one I was quite serious but refused due to family problems

hopefully soon possible

Comment on Q&A Video 2: What Qualities Your Mr. Right Sees In You by Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 09:25:31 +0000

Salams,
This is good mahsAllah.
I understand where your coming from because my mother was talking to me about how to successful both in education and also being a wife and a mother and its great you spoke about this, because not many of us speak about the ‘responsibility’ side of marriage.

MashAllah

Salams

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Me

Me — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 06:45:53 +0000

1) Im 24 and i’ve been actively looking for 2.5 years

2) Around 7. There was 1 that was very serious

3) subhanallah, maybe 1-5 years. Allah knows best

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 05:50:42 +0000

1) 3 years

2) Only one serious proposal

3) In 2 years insha’Allah

Comment on Q&A Video 2: What Qualities Your Mr. Right Sees In You by muslimah

muslimah — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 05:12:28 +0000

But Prophet Muhammad (SAW) married Khadija (RA)and she was a rich lady….

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by anam

anam — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 01:00:54 +0000

1. Haven’t really actively been searching. It’s not culturally acceptable in my community and family.

2. Around 9. One excellent match mashallah but didn’t work out due to the families.

3. Whenever Allah (swt) wills, but I hope this year inshallah.

Please make du’a for me.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Muslimah

Muslimah — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:17:27 +0000

1. My family & I have been looking for about 6 months now – but not seriously looking as I am only 18.
2. I have received one proposal before we started looking and a few recommendations since we have started looking.
3. Most sisters i know got married after uni at around 24-27, however I would like to get married while I’m in uni from 20-23.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Sister

Sister — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:54:48 +0000

1. looking for the last 7 yrs

2. around 3 proposals

3. Only Allah knows best, but I would really like to be married in a year especially since I’ve increased my pool of letting trustworthy know I’m really interested and working harder to expose myself to more opportunities….

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by yas

yas — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:49:03 +0000

Haven’t started looking

another 5 years

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Aish

Aish — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 05:48:01 +0000

1. If you mean actively searching as in (asking someone if they know someone) I think a month or so.

2. 2 proposals but they did not go nowhere

3. I am hoping at the age of 22/23, (I am 21 right now)

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by JA

JA — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 05:40:14 +0000

Assalaamu Alaykum,

I’ve been looking for the past two years.

I’ve got three proposal.

Allah knows best, but i think it would be another year before i get married.

Jazaka Allahu khayr.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by anonymous

anonymous — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 04:39:50 +0000

Ive been thinking seriously about marriage for about 4 years now, but prob “actively” looking for only one year.

I’ve received one serious proposal. He wasn’t my type.

I want to be married within 1 year insha’Allah.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 04:33:57 +0000

1. I’ve been active for about the last 2 months now.

2. I have recieved 2. The first brother looked like he was practising, but gave me bad vibe from the start so I quickly said No. Then next brother was somebody whom a friend referred to me.

3. Most sisters around me who have gotten married recently MashaAllah were under 25. But for me again Allahu’Alam when I will get married.

Comment on Q&A Video 2: What Qualities Your Mr. Right Sees In You by Oronde

Oronde — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 04:09:09 +0000

Assalamu Alaikum

You’re right, there are brothers that practice the straight path who want an educated woman who can communicate well and has something going for herself.
I think the woman and the man have to be aware of giving each other their rights. If they’re aware of this, then maybe arguments,power struggles and bruised feelings could be avoided in the event that the wife has a great career and makes more money than the husband.
I read where one scholar wrote that the poor man should not marry the rich woman, because of possible conflicts and rights being violated. I can’t remember the scholars name, unfortunately, maybe Uthamien or Tahmiyah.
Anyway Assalamu Alaikum from your brother in Islam.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Sabr

Sabr — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 03:57:10 +0000

1) I’ve been actively looking to marry for the past 3 months, and I would like to marry sooner rather than later
2) Since I have been ‘actively’ looking I have not received any proposals
3. 5 years

Comment on From Future Wife To Future Mother by .

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 02:57:34 +0000

AS,

I think another issue that is not being addressed from a brother’s perspective is “jealousy” (regarding opposite gender) for the future spouse. DEFINITELY what has been mentioned holds true…but I also feel as though “jealousy” holds true as well to a certain extent. Allahu’alam.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by m

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 02:04:54 +0000

1. 2 1/2 yrs, many of my friends got married around that time so they tried to “help out”
2. 7-8 when i was first “active(looking” but they’ve been coming less and less since i’ve gotten lazy… im studying and it alone takes all of my time so that is why i havent been putting anymore time into looking for “mr. right”
3. i’d like to say within 3 yrs inshallah but since i’ve gotten lazy i honestly don’t know.

Comment on Q&A Video 1: Should You “Falsely Market” Yourself For Marriage? by Ask

Ask — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 01:39:17 +0000

Megan is right. When thinking about marriage it is important to focus on our ultimate goal, which is to please Allah. Besides, I remember as a kid, I loved it that my mother was a stay-at-home Mom. I felt she was always there for me, which gave me a great sense of love, warmth, and security. I have been so focused on my education and career that I have almost lost touch with those memories and feelings which I clung to so dearly like a life-saver as a child. Now I know I must do right by my children if Allah blesses me with them.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by CanadianMuslima

CanadianMuslima — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 01:05:05 +0000

Salam,

1. Haven’t been actively looking
2. Many proposals in the last 12 months but only one that may be a possible match. Allaah knows best.
3. InshaAllah I’d like to be married in the next 2-3 years

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Meme

Meme — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 23:57:52 +0000

Salaam, for the past 10 years i was with someone who has bee promising to marry me, so the years just passed by and I never felt like anyone significant in his life. I had about 3 proposals I was never happy with them anyway. Now I dnt get any and I don’t k ow how to be as I was with someone for so long. Anyway eventually he didn’t want to be with me.I dnt know bow long I’ll be waiting. I feel like so much time has already
passed. I just don’t know how to be. I just feel like an idiot.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Khadija

Khadija — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 23:42:22 +0000

1. I have been on and off looking to find someone for 6 years but I’m not active enough and my past has hindered me…

2. 4-5 interested parties I think.

3. It will take lot more than a year… but hoping it won’t.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Jannat

Jannat — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 23:14:43 +0000

I have had the intention of actively looking for mr. Right but I never had the time or energy. Meanwhile I am caught up with my daily routine of working and what not and I am still getting proposals. But here’s the catch, they are not muslims. I happen to work in a factory with 90 percent male workforce. The good, the bad, the hideous. And all are non Muslims. It’s like the verse in a famous poem water water everywhere but not a drop to drink. You get the idea.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by fajrlover

fajrlover — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 22:55:37 +0000

1 6 months
2 3 serious ones
3 if it was based on other sisters experience, it depends on who they are, some within 1 year is common and others 6 years would be normal. Cultural factors seem to come into play for some sisters who feel compelled to consider a limited scope of brothers, as opposed to those who don’t care about cultural background

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by sara

sara — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 22:37:53 +0000

How long have you been actively searching to find your Mr. Right? (be specific)
1 year

2. How many proposals did you get since then? (be specific)
3

3. Looking at other sisters that you know who got married around you, how many more months or years do you think it will be before you get married?
More than a year!

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by umm Maryam

umm Maryam — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 22:27:24 +0000

I am 27 yrs old
I have been looking since i was 23 (so 4 yrs)
I have received around 25 – 30 proposals, Around 10 came round to my house, 1 broken engagement.

i realistically see myself married in the next 2 yrs, inshallah.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by aamatullah

aamatullah — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 22:22:58 +0000

salaam alaykum
1.for the last 3 years
2.3 real proporsal
3.in the next closest time thogh ALLAH knows the right time for me which is the best.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Maryam

Maryam — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 21:56:27 +0000

1. around 3 months

2. I am not sure if these can be called “proposal”. But I have discussed with 2 brothers who said they were interested, but each time, things happened, and it never went any far. These discussions were not even carried within proper islamic boundaries (by webcam, emails, al hamdullilah I never physically met them)

I have never received actual, formal, official proposal per say (i.e. sent to my parent …)

3. From what is all going on around me, and seen the circumstances I am in, I will say 3 years (till I finish my PhD al hamdulillah).
But I REFUSE to face the reality, and hope I will get married in a time very soon (inshaAllah). As for me, studies does not exclude marriage.

And the Lord of the Worlds know best

Sorry for going on and on, I am apparently very talkative, or “writative” should I say lol

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Imaan

Imaan — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 21:44:38 +0000

1. I have been actively searching 4 months but at the moment I have stopped due to the commitment of studies. InshaAllah I intend to ask others in my social network to look for a practicing brother/prospective husband after I finish.

I just wanted to share with you that I am a divorcee and thought I’ll never marry again due to the stigma attached of being a divorcee. Alhamdulillah there has been a few interests but most of the time I had to turn down due to my studies. Only Allah knows best so I left it and see what happens.

2. Within that time, I probably had 5 proposals. Thats ranging from directly, third party and matromonial site.

3. Within 3 years InshaAllah.

Comment on Your Biggest Obstacle To Marriage: Women 25-30 by ayeda

ayeda — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 21:40:57 +0000

Assalamualaikum,

Age: 28

Biggest Obstacle: I had been looking to get married since I was 19, and the biggest obstacle was finding a man who was able to stick to the 5 pillars, especially salah. Then it was having my parents approval of him.

How I overcame it: Basically had patience and trusted Allah. I stuck to my guns and did not give in until I found him and my parents approved Alhamdulillah.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Hooded beauty :)

Hooded beauty :) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 21:33:31 +0000

1- I have been actively searching for about 2-3yrs. But only this year have i truly put my all in it and your seminars are perfect. They helped me see all the mistakes I have been making.
2- I have not received any “real” proposals. But I have been approached for the wrong reasons (non marriage relationships) and got 3 fake proposals from men who didn’t even know my name and literally met me that day yet had the audacity to say “let’s get married”. Only looking for a “baby making machine”, as my friends call it. They didn’t talk to me for more then a minute. Really just a minute and they claim we should marry. Thus I don’t count them as proposals.
3- Well for my friend circle there are a few who have fiancés but don’t plan to get married for years. At the same time there are some who are single and not interested in marriage yet and then there are some like me, looking and have been looking for some time. But personally I pray to be married or have a fiancé within 1-2 yrs. I’m not top priority in my family or circle of friends because people keep assuming I’m engaged or already married; thinking things are going good for me. I don’t know were they get their information from but its not good if potential brothers hear it

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by brownie

brownie — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 21:02:22 +0000

1) I have seriously recently started looking husband. Within a two months

2) I have not received any proposals- Inshallah it will soon

3) I hoping within 6-12 months to get married.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Sarah

Sarah — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 20:47:59 +0000

1. For the last year
2. 5+ proposals
3. Inshallah I think, hope and pray to Allah (SWT) that I get married this year or next year inshallah.

Please remember me in your duas all of you and i’ll include you all in mine.
May Allah give all of us the best partner for each of us in this world and the next…Aameen!

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by deen

deen — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 19:56:27 +0000

Salam all

1. 2 years

2. 2 proposals

3. I am divorced for 3 years. So makes it harder I am not sure, going through this all over again is over whelming. I have been seriously looking for the past year, I have gotten 2 so far.

but what I learned from experience is praying to Allah and making dua. I have tried aunti connection, going to Islamic classes and Internet. As they say it will happen when it is meant to happen and it will happen when you least expect it.

Allah has his own way planning things, make dua and praying is the best. InshaAllah May allah bless all the sister in this forum and around the world with good spouse who we are meant to be with. Ameen!

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by iklas

iklas — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 18:37:37 +0000

1. 15 years
2. more than 15
3. i dont know

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Muslimah

Muslimah — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 17:46:36 +0000

1. How long have you been actively searching to find your Mr. Right? (be specific)
Almost three years

2. How many proposals did you get since then? (be specific)

None

I doubt i will ever get married until muslim men stop being so shallow and start looking at my deen and character which i have alhamdulilah rather then my physical disability.

Just one more thing, i noticed alot when people talk about those who are having difficulties getting married no one ever brings us disabled people in the topic, its like we don’t even matter and that we don’t deserve to have this wonderful gift called marriage.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Husna

Husna — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 17:42:51 +0000

Bismillah

1) Two years.

2) Two proposals

3) This is year InshaAllah…..(bi iznillah)

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Mujahida

Mujahida — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 17:35:52 +0000

1. How long have you been actively searching to find your Mr. Right?
– I’ve been doing the “I’m not actively looking, but if a good brother came along I’d consider” thing since I was 16. I’m now 19.

2. How many proposals did you get since then? (be specific)
– 3 official proposals, 1 brother I know was interested however I’d gotten engaged at that point. I’m now single again after 2 years of being engaged, and would advise my sisters of 2 things:

a)Before saying yes to a brother, always ask yourself.. although this guy is totally awesome, is marrying him going to be good for my relationship with Allah? (Something I realised 2 years too late, and wish I’d asked myself at the beginning)

b)Don’t get into long engagements, go for the contract as soon as you feel comfortable, as the longer the unofficial stuff continues, the longer Shaytaan has to get in there and cause trouble.

Alhamdullillah at all times

3. Looking at other sisters that you know who got married around you, how many more months or years do you think it will be before you get married?

– Looking at the sisters around me, many are hitting their late 20’s and are still not married; as for myself, I have a strong support network Alhamdullillah so I’d like to think it may take no longer than 2-3 years.

In the end: Qadr Allah, wa mashaa fa’ala

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by muslimgirl

muslimgirl — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 16:51:39 +0000

aslamoalaikum, its very unfortunate that we who call ourselves muslims are not accepting someone who has a disability or some kind of problem without thinking that it can happen to anyone of us and its all in allah’s hands. i have been searching for last three years but got no positive response because of my disability. please help and educate our muslim men and their families.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by muslimgirl

muslimgirl — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 16:48:35 +0000

aslamoalaikum, i am searching for last three years but got two but due to my disability their families were not accepting of me.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by AN

AN — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 15:56:33 +0000

1. About 3 years almost.
2. About 10. Only 2 were of a serious nature (even though they didn’t meet the religion criteria as much as my family and I would have liked). 1 pulled the disappearing act on us, the other after months of stalling finally said the guy wasn’t interested.
3. Hopefully 1 year.

Comment on Your Biggest Obstacle To Marriage: Women 25-30 by roses_are_red

roses_are_red — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 15:51:27 +0000

This is is response to sister Zara who mentioned that many brothers are seeking a slim wife and that this mindset of brothers is an obstacle to her.

I am very slim, and this has actually turned out to be the reason why 2 out the 3 brothers who were interested in me turned out to be unsuitable.

One of the brothers was large but because I am so slim, like below average weight, it exaggereted the weight gap between us. If I had been more a normal weight he would have been perfect. The other brother was slightly overweight too but again because im so slim he was exactly double my weight and he was actually put off by my being slim and this was the reason he turned me down.

Im not anorexic looking and i have no eating disorder or anything like that alhamdulillah im just naturally slim but I dont want sisters thinking that us slim women have got it easy, brothers do turn us down for that. I think that brothers want women of average weight, so being overweight or slim can both be obstacles.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Amani

Amani — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 15:20:47 +0000

1) 8 years
2) over 10 proposals
3) I pray Allah (sw) to be a.s.a.p. as I am growing older. But with this extremely high rate of uneducated and uncompromising men, it might never happen! I have a lovely daughter who is 13 y/o now, and all proposals I had before were either from: unserious married men, or unwilling men to be a fatherly figure for my daughter even if he has his own kids whom he wants me to their mother because they carry his name but my daughter is not carrying his , or from uneducated rude men….and so on.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by naj..

naj.. — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 15:04:12 +0000

I am 19 years old but i was looking to get married at the age of 22 Insha Allah.

At the moment, i’m not really thinking about getting married but before marraige, i am aiming to be more active around the house and to increase my faith Insha Allah.

Remember me in your dua sisters.

As salamu alaikum. XXX

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Amazed

Amazed — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 14:59:57 +0000

My parents have been actively looking for the last 4 years. (so they say). I myself have only started looking a year ago.

I have had two serious proposals in the last 4 years.

I would like to get married as soon as possible inshallah.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by freida j

freida j — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 14:57:45 +0000

1. My parents have been actively looking for me since I was about 16. I’m 20 now.

2. There have been maybe 10-15 proposals. Nothing got too serious, within exchanging information either one or both of us decided this wasn’t what we were looking for.

3. Within this year inshaAllah. i’m in talks with a brother, and we’ve decided that we want to get married. his family knows and approves, and my family knows and approves. He seems to be having a hard time telling his mom. and despite being a good Muslim practicing brother, he’s a bit of a commitment phobe. I’m waiting on him, so that we can set a date.

Comment on Q&A Video 1: Should You “Falsely Market” Yourself For Marriage? by naj..

naj.. — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 14:57:05 +0000

Alhamdulillah, jazakallah khairan for the useful webinars.

I most definitly agree with you sister Megan; the reason behind marriage.

I am a university student, studying to become a teacher. However, when the time comes for marriage, i don’t mind mind staying at home and fulfilling my duties as a wife because it always goes back to the same question; what does it mean to be a wife/husband. What are the islamic as well as biological roles of men and women?

In short, a wife is like the heart of the soul whereas, the husband is like the strength of a soul.

They are like a rose and its stem, like plant and earth, like rain and sun.

You need both of them, one cannot do without the other.

jazakallah khairan for taking your time in reading my comment(s).

May Allah have mercy upon us to implement our good intentions and to keep them consistent.

Ameen

As salamu alaikum.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Hafiza

Hafiza — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 14:55:15 +0000

1l 2 1/2 years and before that i was single too..

2. i have got none proposals till now..

3. i really dont knw maybe many years..

I have been busy with studying and my parents dont like the fact if i study that i find some1 ..even though im 29 now.. my parents are not very religious more traditional or cultural i would say.. so my parents say find yourself someone bc they was forced to get married and was never happy with each other.
I started talkin to a bro in 2007 when he said he was a muslim i thought i think i found the right person… but then he changed his mind and said 1 and half years later that he’s not.. the problem is i fell in love with him even though i didnt want to i wanted to find a husband for myself.. through the internet bc i thought some1 that converted just to islam could be on the same page as i am and could treat me justly bc i try working on becoming a better human being..or a better muslima and its hard when everyone and life around u doesnt support u they want to hinder u.. so i became frustrated.. untill now i haven’t found the right guy i have’t made really good experiances till now.. to be honest!!!

i have only two muslima girlfriends but most of them are so in their cultures rather than what is real islam.. or what is right and just..and beloving to allah… and my family too.. and thats sad..

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Sulayfah

Sulayfah — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 14:34:59 +0000

1) since 2006 just over 3 years.

2) I’v had 3 proper proposals and a few silly ones..brothers who didnt ask properly and beat around the bush :S

3) Sisters who got married around me my freinds and community when they were 21/22. and they had not been actively looking… they just had luck, men approached there families without them doing any work. subhanallah. they literally sat at home and waited. I think i will be waiting another 3-5 years before i meet someone i could settle down with i am 23 now so ill be in my late 20’s :S. I dont want to i would prefer within the next year…But i have not met anyone serious in thier deen and i would not compromise on this ever.

Jazakalalh khier

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by jokster

jokster — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 14:34:27 +0000

I haven’t really been looking until all my friends got married. I have thought about it more. I would say I have been open to the idea for a year or so. As for proposals, one real serious one and maybe 3-4 attempts at communication. I don’t know how long it may take, only Allah knows. What I would like, maybe in a year. The trend I have seen in my community, less than a year.
Salam

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Zainab

Zainab — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 14:22:22 +0000

Asalaamu alaikum wr wb

1). About 8 months.
2). 10 or so, but only 2 or 3 worth considering.
3). Insha’allah within 2 to 4 years, depending on University and location.

Wa Iyaki! ^_^

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by zaliha harun

zaliha harun — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 14:13:03 +0000

my husband had gone to alam barzah 2006,
2010,trying to find the right ALLAH salve to improve my iman.
i’ve 2 proposal in 2009,really the man is not in my way of life towards ALLAH and Rasullah guiding.
if ALLAH give the right man,that’s from ALLAH to really myself surrender.LAHAULAWALAQUWATAILLABILLAH

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by sally

sally — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 13:42:03 +0000

1) been activly searching for 1.5 years
2) from age 23-25 about 3 people asked me if i want to get married cuz they had some1 in mind for me but I said no (didn’t even give them a chance to see me or propose) because i was so stressed about getting into grad school and I wasn’t gonna start thinking about marriage until after getting a spot in grad school. After I got into grad school (age 25), I got only 1 actual proposal, and it didn’t work out, and now I am almost 26 and didn’t get anything since then. I regret missing those first 3 chance, but oh well, can’t change the past.

3) I hope to get married right away, but realistically, with the severe scarcity in proposals that i am experiencing right now, I think might take me 2 years to get married (hopefully not more than that inshallah)

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by mk

mk — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 13:41:17 +0000

a) 1 year
b) 2 proposals – (I have seen many other guys but my parents have refused most of them)
3) within in a year hopefully

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Muslimah

Muslimah — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 13:33:29 +0000

1) Six to ten years, off and on (I’ve wanted to get married for a long time but didn’t know how to go about it at first. My family isn’t Muslim and doesn’t get involved in these matters.)
2) Several inquiries, two serious proposals
3) It’s frustrating at times, but in my community sisters who don’t have any family helping them usually remain unmarried for many years, easily nine years or more. Let’s say I’ve been looking for six years. Then I have at least three more years if I want to find someone who’s passionate about his Islam….

Comment on The Marriage Of Your Dreams by Fragile

Fragile — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 13:27:47 +0000

I wish to marry a man who:-

- knows how to be kind to a woman;
- gives me the freedom to practice as much “hijaab” as I want;
- brings in “halaal” income home [ and refrains from getting involved in too many loans].

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by D

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 13:25:12 +0000

1) 2 months
2) 7
3) 1 year we Allahu Allam

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Psssss

Psssss — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 12:54:44 +0000

Assalamu alaykum wr wb

Hah I was searching Right one 2 years, then got wrong one, then devorced and now I am already devorced 7 months
alhamdulillah

I got 100 proposals…but that is nothing serious. People are not serious. Men now a days are ‘trying’
After a while they do not feel lucky with their chosen one so they search more…usually they say you can ask for devorce any time. So I am trying to be faar away from such ppl.
Now is also modern kind of marriage ‘misyar’. So people are searching bad girls around then living with them misyar then devorcing them and searching others…etc.

But that is in world I live in. I do not know how is there on the West now.
Also I cannot accept ppl who ask me after 2 days for marriage. Wow I am not impressed with their proposals…they think like God will send love between them and wife, if not then they will search more!! lol how lucky guys with shari3a rules.
I am sure they do not understand shari3ah at all.

It is ok for men to marry more wifes but not on way they do. they have one and search around…look at every single girl, cht with 1000 of them..all because they have right to marry more.
Where is Islam there??? I do not rekognize it in such actions.

And yeah…Sisters if you want marry from Arabic world and he say he is devorce ask from who: from first and only wife or from 3th or 4th etc.
yeah they r really devorced but from their last wife…not from all. so they are not liars!!!! NOT at all! LOL

also if boy swear he have never been with any girl…ask what abt boys?? you never know today…ppl are getting crazy. astagfirullah
I had bad expirience so that is why i told you this. take care.

When will I marry?? Allahu alam. If I think abt last moment I can say after 6 months or after 1,5 year etc. when my kids have school holiday…I cannot in between. so all good ppl who asked me to marry for 2 days were not smart…I have to think on my kids future not just on marriage. I was planing to meet one good for 6 months or oneyear..but it seems that ppl are to good or to bad. nowhere the middle. so i am still waiting that normal one. who will meet me, give me time and do not cheat me LOL

thank you

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Chittakookar

Chittakookar — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 12:47:05 +0000

1. How long have you been actively searching to find your Mr. Right? (be specific)

5 years

2. How many proposals did you get since then? (be specific)

2 I considered

3. Looking at other sisters that you know who got married around you, how many more months or years do you think it will be before you get married?

InshAllah I am making du’a that it will be by the end of 2010 (if I follow practimate advice!!) But Allahu Wa Alim…Allah (SWT) is the best of Planners.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Bubblegum

Bubblegum — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 12:16:28 +0000

1) Ive been looking since i was 18 now going to be 20 soon inshaAllah

2) ive had quite a few people ask me, one asked me directly at uni and about 8 people have rang and done enquirys…some of which we have seen in person….khayr none of them actually went through Although i seriously thought one of them would go through but qadr Allah it didnt

3) i really want to get married by the summer ideally inshaAllah. If not then defintely by next summmer inshaAllah

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Muslimah

Muslimah — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 12:15:38 +0000

1) I have been actively looking for 2 years

2) I have recieved 3 proposals so far all practising brs mashallah but didnt work out

3) Inshallah I think relistically might be another year or 2 but want to get married inshallah before that

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Me

Me — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 12:10:30 +0000

I have been searching for the past six years. Before I started observing the niqaab (3years ago), I had 12 proposals but since, I’ve had about 4. I think it will take me about 4 more months to get married insha Allah.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by NoName

NoName — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 11:55:13 +0000

1- 10 years
2- Two
3- Everyone around here doesn’t seem to take long except me.

Allah knows best.

Comment on From Future Wife To Future Mother by yerima

yerima — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 11:33:41 +0000

assalamu alekum,
if memory serves me right, there is no place like home and not house,
since it takes two to tango, compromises have to be made.
in some countries usually the wife/mum focuses on career and such after her kids have passed primary or junior high;why?
cos she did i good job raising them and can now turn her back without a moments hesitation.
wat stroke me as odd is that even on opra , a woman who was not a muslim a mother of 7 was home skoolin her kids!
if they can do it, why not we that have more right and since of guidance do it?!
why not in the respective muslim communities a system be established whereby:
the women/sisters wud be runining home skoolin;even if its in a garage!
this program can be from kindergarden up to watever.
this wud provide income and foster unity amongst the umma locally
the system can be all compassing, not only conventional and islamic but even some mode of halal etertainment.
girls from a younger age wud have the privilage of learning and being prepared for wat awaits them in life
Insha Allah this wud level things out; no man wants or wud tolerate a case whereby he comes home to crying kids fighting there baby sitter and his wife is on other part of the town ‘trying to support’ the family
Allah Yasir

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by watermelon

watermelon — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 11:24:09 +0000

a) 3 years
b) 10
c) anywhere from the coming few months to 2-3 years!

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by FindingBrNemo

FindingBrNemo — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 10:41:53 +0000

1. How long have you been actively searching to find your Mr. Right? (be specific)

My family and I have been actively searching for 3 years (give or take a few months)

2. How many proposals did you get since then? (be specific)

I have had around 15 to 16 proposals – when i say proposals…i mean meetings with prospective brothers. out of the 15, I was only keen on the ONE!

Inshallah it should be this year!! lol… average of friends and ppl around me is 25/26 …although i have sisters around me who are nearing the big 3-0!

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Amah

Amah — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 10:35:43 +0000

1. How long have you been actively searching to find your Mr. Right?

3 years

2. How many proposals did you get since then?

One

3. Looking at other sisters that you know who got married around you, how many more months or years do you think it will be before you get married?

Taking an average is quite hard as I know sisters who’ve been looking for much longer than me and still are and others who were not actively or passively looking and got married while still in University. So my answer is I don’t know.

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by Zawane

Zawane — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 10:26:03 +0000

a) Since the last webinar, I’ve put myself on the “marriage market” which was not really the case for the last 5 years. I was secretly wishing for my friends to get married before me (I guess I was fearing the evil eye because my friends usually envy me for no particular reason – may Allah forgive me for that statement). Now that they are all married (and thanks to you sister Megan mashallah for opening my eyes on the mistakes that I was making) I am ready (with ALLAH’s Will) to become a wife and a mother inshallah !

b) none of the proposals that I’ve received were official (meaning men coming to my parents…) but I had several marriage plans (four for sure) and the most serious one was dismissed by my parents when I told them I wanted to get married with that man (that was 5 years ago and He still want to marry me but I am not quite happy with his deen – ALLAH’s knows BEST!)

c) I am longing for a determined brother who will come and ask my parents in no time – So getting married within a week or a month is something feasible to me !!! AMIN

Comment on How Long Have You Been Looking And How Many Proposals Did You Get? by imaan

imaan — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 10:14:43 +0000

salaam alaikum
1. How long have you been actively searching to find your Mr. Right? (be specific)

1 month

2. How many proposals did you get since then? (be specific)

didn’t meet anyone YET,

3. Looking at other sisters that you know who got married around you, how many more months or years do you think it will be before you get married?

Most of my friends are married but because I have a child from a previous marriage I think it might take about a year! or more. but its not because I wont have a brother propose I think its because I want to feel right with someone, to have some kind of comfort and attraction with him,for my child to like him and him be great and patient with my child and accept me with a child in the first place and the odds of that happening are slim but of course Allah can do anything I just worry I wont meet or be introduced to someone who I will like or find attractive enough to say yes to.