In “Find Your Mr. Right” 8 Week Online Seminar, we’ll go over your fears and worries and how you can overcome them, in sha Allah.
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NOTE: If you’ve experienced a traumatic event in your life, then this program will definitely help you, but it will NOT go in-depth into solving past traumas and hurts from a clinical perspective. I would love to see you inside the program.
Asslam Alaikum, refreshed the page and saw the video. Meagan, do you mind doing a post one day about being afraid of financial failure in marriage? I think this is my biggest fear. Most brothers surrounding me are really struggling financially and I am terrified of going into a marriage and litteraly worrying about where the money for diapers, baby formula and bread will come from. This is especially so because I am from a very afluent family (non muslim). We are expected to marry well and being poor is looked at as failure. I know this is not Islamic at all but I can’t help it. Especialy because I know what they will say: Oh look what Islam has brought to her: extreemism, stupidity and poverty.
| Comment #1 | Posted by: Little Bird | 10:11 pm
Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatulahi Wa Barakatuh
mashaALlah well done. I have been in sad situation but alhamdulillah that was in the past.
JAzakallah khair.
| Comment #2 | Posted by: kaltun | 2:50 am
Mashallah! as always brilliant, straight to the point vid. I know that I need to work on myself before I remove all the obstacles to marriage out of the way. Yes you are absolutely right, the root of fear is from within the self. But now Alhamdulilah I think I am past the stage of fearing men, I know now that I can call the shots and not allow hurt to come my way (again).
Thank you sis, May Allah reward you for your efforts.
Much Love.
| Comment #3 | Posted by: StuckInTheSystem | 3:27 am
as salamu ‘alai kum warahmatulLaahi wabarakatuh
Masha Allaah very insightful actually it pulled together (beautifully) conclusions that I have observed with in myself. Great job sis may Allaah increase us and you in goodness and make us amongst the thankful!
| Comment #4 | Posted by: Uma | 7:23 am
I do feel that, if I were to marry someone who turned out to be abusive, controlling, etc, that it would be MY responsibility to deal with it appropriately. I am not so much afraid that I would be “trapped” or not be able to “escape” a bad marriage. My fear is of the hurt, the emotional pain of having let myself love someone, and become intimate with someone who ends up not deserving my trust, my love, my closeness…. A stranger can hurt me physically or insult me and it won’t be as hurtful as if a husband, friend or family member does so. To have the possibility that a once happy union crumbles and I am left alone and wounded, is scary.
| Comment #5 | Posted by: tayibah | 5:51 pm
i work w a lot of brothers in the community and have ended up having to work with many who are controlling and manipulative…so its not just “me” and “my fear” that is the problem, its also true that this is a general problem with some muslim brothers. there should be more programs to educate them on relationships and treatment of women
| Comment #6 | Posted by: z | 12:16 am
^ I agree with z. I’m way more open-minded than most guys who’ve proposed would most probably think. I have two older brothers who although I have my differences with, I utterly respect and despite their human flaws I believe would make good husbands. It is for that reason, that I give people a chance, but when it comes down to it, they all give off the air of manipulation and holding tight to their cultural ideas which demean women. I’m not a girl who will be led to believe that I need to change completely for a man, because I need to be patient, sweet, and obedient. And we live in a world with two extremes: girls who would rather be single than hurt and girls who get married and get emotionally, physically, and mentally hurt.
With that said, let us remember our sister Aasiya Hassan who was murdered by her husband last year. May Allah protect our sisters from such evil men. Ameen.
| Comment #7 | Posted by: J. | 10:05 pm
I can identify with all that is said here and indeed in many other of Sister Megan’s emails/posts. So firstly, a heartfelt thank you for the service you are offering. What prevents me from getting sold on it however is that I don’t understand why yet again its the women who are doing the adjusting/growing/changing when the men who should be doing just the same…are not doing much at all. What is really wrong with standing up to being a woman who values oneself and will not brook lesser treatment, then putting one’s trust in Allah and waiting. Why must we always project ourselves as this or that when a little more maturity and insight can be instilled in a man to try to see a little beyond what is on the surface when in comes to proposals. Why not start with the men? Many times I wanted to join your course but I feel it will be yet another saga of coping and adjusting and after many such, I really do want to just stand up for myself and say to the men…grow up!
[just to give context, I'm a 30 year old PhD candidate working with a wide working experience and very independant]
Thanks!
| Comment #8 | Posted by: Raz | 10:20 pm
salam
I agree with Megan that we are the only ones who can decide who hurts us.
what if a sister ends up in a abusive marriage. or controling marriage?
so yes we do have an option to say no to abuse and control but some husband threaten to take children etc. some men turn their children against the mother so it creates a worse situation for the children subhalanalah.
some situations can be very tricky subhanlaah.
however i still believe that Allah wont test us with more than we can bear so its important to make dua and ask Allah to protect us from harm ameen
on another note i think its important that we do grow as women people and learn new things. its our islamic duty to continue to improve on our character and increase our faith…however the same should apply to the men. both men and women are garments for one another and marriage is a matter of give and take i believe
may Allah reward sister Megan for her wonderful insights. its very inspiring mashalah
It would be intersting to have some answers to some of the comments that sisters have made.
may Allah reward sister Megan and her team ameen
| Comment #9 | Posted by: K | 6:22 pm
Bismillah
I just wanted to say something about this comment made above:
“but some husband threaten to take children etc. some men turn their children against the mother so it creates a worse situation for the children subhalanalah.”
I would say that something like that happens BECAUSE a wife, before she was a mother, didn’t stop things from the beginning – and THEN a few kids later, she tries to leave, and the evil blackmailing begins.
This is why it is CRUCIAL to take care of things from the beginning. Children never ever deserve to be in an unhealthy environment.
And again, if a man wasn’t abusive to the wife, but only to the kids, then the same thing applies. First time is the last time.
| Comment #10 | Posted by: Megan Wyatt | 11:53 pm
Mashallah the blog struck a big chords with me. I think we do need to start with ourselves first. In the case of ending up in a negative relationship, we need to respect ourselves enough to stand up against it and ensure that we dont let it happen again. I am first and foremost afraid that I will not be strong enough to remove myself from such a situation. We need to have faith in Allah that He will take care of us and our future. And the akhira is the final reward inshallah.
| Comment #11 | Posted by: inside_muslimah | 4:34 pm